


I'm Your Villain

by ZippyZapmeister



Category: Love Live! School Idol Festival (Video Game), Love Live! School Idol Project, Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Cunnilingus, F/F, Future AU, Mildly Dubious Consent, Songfic, Strap-Ons, Tribadism, Well not the FUTURE future but wooby is in college, except not really, fuck man this is my rarepair just let me rest in peace ok?, read a/n for more info
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-12-11
Packaged: 2018-08-30 16:58:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8541313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZippyZapmeister/pseuds/ZippyZapmeister
Summary: Ruby had thought going to the club was a bad idea, but the night seemed to turn around when she saw Kanan Matsuura there.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Kinda based off of I'm Your Villain by Franz Ferdinand
> 
> Ummm hey. Kanan is a little drunk when they fuck in this so if that squicks you out in terms of consent then you might not wanna read, i know that can be upsetting if it's not your thing.

Ruby had assumed that the one sake she had had made her feel so dizzy and made everything seem so blurred, but it occurred to her that it was actually just the _panicking_ feeling that was making everything like that. Really, Dia was right when she said that college parties weren’t “all that”. In fact, Ruby didn’t think they were much of anything except trouble. Ruby wanted a ride home, but she had stupidly decided to let Yoshiko drive her instead of driving herself. The last Ruby saw of Yoshiko, she was “impressing” a couple of clubgoers with her fallen angel spiel (which was ten times worse when influenced by alcohol). Ruby looked around and saw students from her school all around her, but nobody that she trusted to drive her home; rather, nobody that she felt like she knew well enough to bother. _Oh, onee-chan...why did you have to go to school so far away...?_

 

Vibrations from the blaring music tickled the soles of Ruby’s feet. She almost felt like she could dance, as if it were old Aqours days...but she wasn’t _that_ drunk, and besides, before she could even really consider getting onto the dance floor, she felt a hand on her shoulder. Dia had warned her about creeps like that, drunk and looking for some girl to grab. Doing just as Dia had taught her, Ruby quickly jutted her elbow backwards and then whirled to face her attacker, fists clenched as she prepared to land another blow. However, she quickly found herself regretting her brash actions; behind her, clutching her chest and wincing, was none other than Kanan Matsuura. Grimacing, but with a small smile, Kanan said, “At least you know how to defend yourself. I’m sure Dia’d be happy to know that...”

 

“K-Kanan-senpai,” Ruby said, astonished. Kanan was dressed casually, in a sleeveless navy blue hoodie, similarly colored skinny jeans, and black sneakers. Ruby felt slightly over-dressed in her white cropped jacket over her lacy pink dress, worn with brown cowgirl boots. Kanan looked laid-back and cool, as always. Ruby never dared to speak it aloud, but Kanan always had this aura that Dia didn’t have, something less...tense, something more...cool. It was admired by many, but Ruby seriously felt like she was gravitating towards Kanan. “I’m so sorry! I-I thought you were a creep.”

 

The second the words left her mouth, Ruby regretted them, but Kanan doubled over in laughter, putting her hands on her knees to catch her breath. Ruby pouted, and when Kanan stood up straight again, she wiped a tear and said, “I’m sorry for laughing. What the hell has Dia been telling you, anyway? Must be some pretty scary stuff, for you to nearly break my ribcage.” Ruby tensed up at that. Every time she tried to do something, she ended up messing up! However, Kanan immediately raised a hand and shook her head. “No, no, Ruby, I was just kidding. I’m fine. More importantly, what are you doing in a place like this? All of this alcohol and god-knows-what else. This isn’t your type of crowd.”

 

“Yeah, well...I don’t know,” Ruby admitted. “A-a change of scenery, I guess...? Wh-why are you here? This doesn’t strike me as your type of place either.”

 

“It’s not.” Kanan shrugged. “I was at the place down the street, but it wasn’t as lively as usual.”

 

“There’s another club, right? Dia told me about it when she visited,” Ruby said. “She said it was for people with special interests.”

 

Kanan seemed to freeze up, and Ruby wondered if she had said something wrong. Did Kanan have the “special interests” that the club harbored? Did she not like people referring to it as such? Kanan scratched the back of her neck with her hand and murmured, “Well, if Dia didn’t tell you what it was, then she probably had a reason not to...heh. Not like she would _have_ a reason not to tell you, with the way she clings to Mari.”

 

“What does that mean?”

 

“...It’s a lesbian bar, Ruby,” Kanan explained.

 

“Oh. What were you doing there...? Oh...o-oh!” Ruby felt like an idiot. _I wish the ground would swallow me up right now!_ The world kind of spun on its axis. Kanan had always been...Kanan. Ruby hadn’t ever imagined her with a guy, but lesbianism never crossed her mind either. But, even though Ruby hated to judge by stereotypes, Kanan _did_ seem like...the type. _Ah...sorry, onee-chan. I don’t mean to judge a book by its cover..._ Noticing that Kanan was staring oddly at her, Ruby began, “I-I-”

 

“I-if that makes you uncomfortable, I don’t mind-”

 

“No,” Ruby interrupted. She was blushing furiously. Kanan...Kanan was a lesbian?! Ruby tried to imagine Kanan holding hands with a girl, kissing a girl, smiling at a girl...well, she couldn’t think of any generic girls to pair Kanan with at that moment, so she just imagined Kanan doing those things to her. For a second, it looked weird, but after that, it looked...pleasant. Ruby snapped out of her daydreams and noticed Kanan staring again, with an eyebrow raised. Ruby shifted her stance and said, “U-um, it’s fine. I just didn’t expect it...”

 

Kanan patted the top of Ruby’s head, something that Ruby usually reserved for Dia. Ruby didn’t oppose Kanan’s touch at all, however. She felt a tingling sensation as Kanan touched her and a cool sort of emptiness where Kanan’s hand had been. The entire action only lasted about a second, but Ruby played it over and over again in her head, her cheeks warming. “Alright, then. I just wanted to make sure. Dia’d kill me if I ever even _looked_ at you the wrong way, you know? How is she, by the way?”

 

“Good. Busy with school, but we still talk often,” Ruby said quickly, smiling. She didn’t want the conversation to stray towards Dia, she wanted to know more about Kanan liking girls, she wanted to know what kinds of girls Kanan had been with, she wanted to know if any of them were like her. Ruby panicked, wanting to bring the conversation back to Kanan. “T-take me to the club, please? If you don't mind...”

 

Kanan snorted, shaking her head. “Ruby, I don't think you would like it. Besides, are you even...?”

 

“I don't know....I-I just wanted to go. I didn't really think about it. I'm sorry...”

 

Kanan patted Ruby’s head again, smiling complacently. “No big deal. If you feel that passionately about it, I suppose we can go. It's a bit too high-energy here for both of our tastes. Right?”

 

Ruby nodded, captivated by Kanan’s gorgeous grin. She didn't know why she felt so inclined to go to that bar, but as long as she was going somewhere with Kanan, it didn't really matter to her; so, smiling back at Kanan, she texted Yoshiko to let her know she was leaving and went on her merry way.

* * *

  
The bar was dimly-lit, everything tainted in a wood-like brown. Ruby felt some kind of warmth radiating off of the bar, something home-y and comfortable. Kanan was definitely at home; the moment she walked in, a couple of people said hello, referring to her by name and even recognizing Ruby from Aqours. One older woman kissed Ruby once on each cheek as if she were her granddaughter. Kanan sat down at a table with two other women, but Ruby didn’t recognize them until she took a seat.

 

Ruby felt her face heat up when she noticed the two women sitting at the table, their shoulders brushing against each other. “T-Tojo-sama?! A-and Ayase-sama?!” Ruby squeaked, nearly trembling with excitement.

 

Nozomi looked up, then smiled. “Yup yup, that’s me! You can just call me Nozomi, though. My, my, Kanan, you never told me that Ruby was a fan of us! Kanan’s shown me videos of your performances. You _always_ looked great!”

 

For a second, Ruby thought she was going to pass out, but she became sure that she would flat-out _die_ when Eli seconded, “I agree! You’re very cute, Ruby! And just call me Eli, okay?”

 

“Jeez, jeez,” Kanan chuckled, waving Ruby over to sit. Ruby sat down next to Kanan, wondering if Kanan would mention how close Ruby was to her. Kanan didn’t, and Ruby felt her heart race. Kanan was warm, warmer than what she felt from the bar. Kanan said, “You’re going to give her a heart attack if you keep that up.”

 

The fact that _Eli Ayase_ and _Nozomi Tojo_ were at a _lesbian bar_ didn’t set in until a few seconds later, and when Ruby took into account how close they were to each other, she put the pieces together: they were dating! They _did_ have a lot of chemistry, Ruby wouldn’t forget that. Oh, and whenever they sang together, it was just magical. Ruby wondered what it would be like to sing a gorgeous duet with Kanan, where their voices just...clicked. _Ahh! Why did I automatically think about Kanan...? So embarrassing!_ Ruby murmured, “I’m a big fan...! I-I’m kind of nervous...”

 

“Don’t be,” Eli said, and Ruby immediately felt comforted. “Besides, μ’s broke up years ago. We’re just regular college students now.”

 

“But you’re studying something music-related.” Kanan pointed out, and Eli “hmm”d in thought. “You’re doing dance, right, Eli? And Nozomi is working on becoming a singer? It’s all one and the same.”

 

Before Nozomi or Eli could reply, a waitress came over and they all placed orders for drinks. Eli, Nozomi and Kanan all ordered sake while Ruby decided to go for a soda. She didn’t like the sake that she had had earlier, most likely because of the overwhelming guilt that she felt when she drank it. There’s no doubt that Dia would flip her lid if she knew Ruby had drank, so she decided that one time was enough. After their orders were placed, Eli looked at Ruby and spoke up, smiling. Ruby wondered how Dia would act in such a situation...well, she probably would have fainted. “So, what brings you here, Ruby? Are you just tagging along with Kanan? She’s a regular here, you know.”

 

“U-um, yeah...I’m just c-coming to s-see, and, um...” Ruby tensed up. It was probably a bad idea for her to go to a lesbian bar when she wasn’t even sure that she was...well, she had definitely thought about it. And the recent thoughts about Kanan that had plagued her were certainly startling. _Oh, they’re not just recent. I’ve looked up to Kanan for a while now...I think it’s more than just looking up to her at this point!_

 

“Don’t be nervous. Elicchi was so scared to come with me at first,” Nozomi said, a far-off look in her eyes. “I remember when she first came in with me, she looked like she was going to puke. It was so cute!”

 

“N-Nozomi, that’s not the cutest thing I can think of,” Eli stammered, her cool composure being worn away by Nozomi’s antics. “But, anyway...Nozomi’s right. It’s alright to come here if you’re figuring yourself out, or even if you’re just a little curious.” Ruby could’ve sworn she heard Nozomi mumble “you mean bi-curious”, but she wasn’t too sure. Eli added, “Everybody here is nice and won’t push you to talk about that kind of thing. I doubt you’ll be a disturbance, so just hang around if you’d like.”

 

Ruby smiled, trying not to cry. She always was such a crybaby. When people were angry with her, or sad, or even pleased, she always felt the urge to cry. However, she suppressed her tears and happily said, “Th-thank you, Ayase-san! I mean...Eli. Thank you!”

 

Nozomi grinned mischievously. “Besides, you’re obviously not one of those womanizer types like Matsuura-san...we don’t have to worry about you breaking hearts, now, do we?”

 

Ruby was confused by the comment; not because of what Nozomi was saying, but because of how it made her feel. Something twisted in her throat, her stomach...it made her whole body tense. Some bitter feeling. Ruby didn’t like it and she didn’t know what it was from, but when a flash of Kanan grinning at some girl and leading her out of the door went through her mind, she felt a bit of bile threaten to come up her throat.

 

Ruby wanted to say something. She looked over at Kanan and saw that her face was a bright pink, her cool demeanor temporarily abandoned. “Heh. Isn’t Ruby the cutest?” Kanan nervously said, reaching up and pinching Ruby’s cheek playfully as a distraction. Kanan’s hand was cool against Ruby’s warm, flushed skin, and Ruby tried not to lean into her. Kanan’s hands were softer than Ruby had imagined, and Ruby felt the touch long after Kanan released. “Too bad her sister’s not around, Eli. Dia is absolutely ridiculous. Sometimes, I could swear she’s downright in love with you.”

 

After ordering some food, the conversation drifted back and forth between school, music and random oddities, and for once, Ruby felt herself piping up in the conversation often. Eli and Nozomi were quite inviting, but most of all, Kanan seemed to be silently nudging Ruby into the chat. If Kanan wanted Ruby to comment, she would wrap her arm around Ruby’s shoulders and jostle her gently, or just bump their shoulders. It seemed to progress as the night went on, and Kanan got more and more physically affectionate with Ruby, fiddling with her pigtails or pinching her cheeks again. Eli and Nozomi seemed to be entertained by the entire spectacle, giggling and smiling at Ruby about something that Ruby couldn’t comprehend. All she knew was that she felt like she were in some wonderland, as if everything were so vividly unreal. Ruby wondered if that was what being drunk felt like; she was so elated that she almost felt dizzy, giggling and smiling constantly.

 

In fact, she was so happy that she didn’t even realize that Kanan was so happy because _she_ was drunk.

 

The thought didn’t appear until Kanan raised her arm for the waiter and Eli warned, “Kanan, I think you’ve had enough. You can’t even drive at this point...”

 

“Yeah, yeah, maybe you’re right,” Kanan mumbled. Ruby personally thought that the slur in her voice was unfathomably...attractive. Ruby blushed at the very thought, just as Kanan turned to her. “Damn it, Ruby, I got carried away. I was going to drive you home...”

 

“Maybe you guys should catch a cab,” Nozomi suggested. “Elicchi and I always take one if she out-drinks her designated driver status.”

 

Suddenly, Ruby piped up, “I-I can always take Kanan to her house and use her car...I don’t mind.” Ruby usually only stayed in bus or walking distance of her apartment, so she didn't have a car, but Dia insisted that she get her license no matter what.

 

“Really? You’d do that? Oh, Ruby, you’re just the best,” Kanan said, mussing Ruby’s hair. “You’re just the best.” They all paid for their drinks and walked out to the parking lot, with Nozomi stumbling into the passenger seat and Eli getting into the driver’s seat of her car. They drove off, and that left Kanan and Ruby in the dark lot by themselves. Kanan tossed Ruby the keys, and they climbed into Kanan’s clunker of a car. When Kanan caught Ruby inspecting the car curiously, she shrugged and declared, “She works.”

 

Ruby nodded slowly and started the car, ignoring the sputtering, choking noises it made as Kanan directed her to her apartment.

* * *

Ruby had to help Kanan into the apartment. It was dark, so Ruby fumbled around a bit before finding a light switch and flipping it on. They both made their way to the couch. Ruby helped Kanan sit, feeling almost nauseous from the smell of sweet liquor on Kanan’s breath. “Thank you, Ruby,” Kanan said, grinning. “You can stay the night, 'kay? There’re some clothes that are too small for me in the bottom left drawer of my dresser. Go ahead and use those clothes if you want a shower.”

 

The statement hadn't really left any room for debate, and Ruby was too tired to walk back to her dorm, which was a good distance away from Kanan's apartment. “Alright. I-I'll go get some clothes and have a shower...thank you!”

 

“No problem. You're a friend,” Kanan said, smiling just a little too big. _Jeez...she's really out of it._ “I'll just relax here while you do all of that. Wake me up if I fall asleep, okay?”

 

Ruby nodded dutifully and went back to Kanan’s bedroom. A light giggle escaped Ruby when she saw all of the sports posters on the walls, along with a basketball hoop on the back of the door. The room was painted a deep, relaxing blue. A peppermint-like scent surrounded Ruby, a scent that she recognized to be Kanan's. Ruby felt the urge to jump in the bed and never get out...

 

However, as she was told to do, Ruby rifled around in Kanan’s drawer and found some pajamas that seemed to fit her. They looked hardly worn, and Ruby went into panic mode. What if Kanan didn't want Ruby wearing those new-looking pajamas? Ruby decided to ask Kanan about it; she needed to ask about a towel and cloth anyway. Ruby grabbed the clothes and went out into the living room and whispered, “K-Kanan-senpai?”

 

“Eh?” Kanan stood up from the couch and walked around, but Ruby didn't see exactly what she expected.

 

“Your-your top,” Ruby sputtered. “It’s gone...!”

 

Indeed, Kanan had removed everything above the waist except for a bra. Ruby had seen Kanan like that before, having changed in the same room as her, but...it was different when they were alone! And, by god, did Kanan have that six pack when they were in Aqours? Ruby wanted to just...reach her hand up, and-

 

Oh. She _was_ reaching up.

 

When Ruby realized what she was doing, she began to withdraw her hand shakily, but Kanan chuckled and grabbed it with both of hers. “What, would you like to touch it? Go ahead. I didn't put in all of those hours at the gym for nothing, y’know?”

 

Ruby gulped and nodded, even though she was too afraid to move. Kanan shook her head and sighed a little, still smiling. She brought Ruby’s hand to her stomach, and Ruby ran her fingers over the beautifully defined abdominal muscles, blushing furiously. It felt really nice, feeling every ridge of Kanan's skin. “I like them.” Ruby was anxious and didn't know what else to say, but that was the first decent thought that came to her mind.

 

“Really? Thanks,” Kanan said. She released Ruby’s hand and looked down at the hand that held pajamas. “Oh, you're wearing those? I grew out of them before I could even wear them. Keep them.”

 

“Th-thank you!” Ruby said, bowing slightly. “I wanted to ask...where are your towels and washcloths?”

 

“In the closet in the hallway. The bathroom’s right across from it.” Kanan smiled and hopped over the back of the couch, settling in as Ruby went to take her shower.

 

Ruby took a shower after spending a couple of awkward minutes trying to find out how Kanan's bath worked, and came out smelling fresh and clean. When she put on Kanan’s clothes, she blushed; Kanan's scent was all around her. Once she got back to the living room, she saw that Kanan was asleep just as she had suggested. She looked so peaceful and gorgeous, even though she had probably passed out from being wasted. The same pretty flesh that Ruby had ran her fingers along a couple of minutes ago looked twice as tempting now that Kanan was unable to watch her every move. Ruby found her hand moving towards them again, but she immediately shook her head and made a change of course, instead shaking Kanan’s shoulder gently. Kanan lazily pried her eyes open, then smiled. “A-all done,” Ruby whispered, trying not to startle Kanan.

 

“Alright. I’ll go take a bath, then,” Kanan murmured, sitting up and stretching. She wavered a little bit, and when Ruby looked into her eyes, she could see they were glassy with intoxication. “Thanks, Ruby.”

 

“For what?”

 

Kanan paused, then laughed and shook her head. “I forgot. Waking me up, I think...but I think there was something else I wanted to thank you for? Hm...I’ll probably remember at the worst moment, too...stuff like that happens all the time, right? Remembering things at the worst time. Especially when you can’t do anything about it.” Ruby only vaguely grasped what Kanan was drunkly rambling about, so she just nodded and smiled. Dia always told her to do that when she didn’t know what to say, or when she was nervous: nod and smile. Kanan grinned spectacularly and patted Ruby on the head again, going off to take her shower. She called over her shoulder, “You can get in bed or watch some television if you want.”

 

Ruby nodded and decided upon the latter, sitting on the couch and turning on the television. Ruby watched a couple of kids’ shows before realizing that Kanan had been inside of the the bathroom for a while. Furrowing her brow in worry, she stood and went down the hallway, standing outside of the bathroom. She hadn’t realized until she got close to the door that Kanan had music playing. Ruby couldn’t hear the running of a shower, so she knew for sure that Kanan was soaking in the bathtub. Then, an idea hit her: Kanan had probably fallen asleep in the bathtub. _I don’t want to bother her, but-but what if she drowns?! Then it’ll be all my fault, since I just left her! I have to do something!_ Ruby gently rapped on the door, then said, “Kanan-senpai? Are you alright?”

 

She couldn’t hear anything over the music, so Ruby just turned the knob and slowly opened the door, peeking in. It wasn’t until then that she realized she would see Kanan naked, but she was willing to ignore the embarrassment of the situation if it meant saving her friend. Once she looked in, though, she realized that Kanan didn’t need to be saved from anything. Just through the crack Ruby had made in the door, she could see that Kanan was awake, her hand moving furiously beneath the water. For a split second, Ruby was confused, but she opened the door wider and was able to clearly see that Kanan was moving her fingers in and out of herself, trying to reach her climax. Ruby was both shocked and enticed, watching as Kanan grabbed at her own breasts and arched her back in pleasure. Ignoring all thought processes, Ruby opened the door even wider, but still went unnoticed. Kanan’s hair was out of its ponytail, sticking to her face from the humidity of the room. Ruby pressed her own thighs together, trying to quell the throbbing sensation that was forming in her groin. She had felt odd pangs like that before, but never so strong...

 

The feeling grew even stronger when Kanan released an uncharacteristically high-pitched noise, sharp, as if she had been struck. Kanan began to quake, her hand moving in jerking motions instead of quick, fluid ones like before. Another sharp yelp came from her, and then, to Ruby’s utter surprise, a guttural moan of her name. The way “Ruby” rolled off of Kanan’s lips had never been so sweet, so raw, so-

 

“Ruby?!”

 

Yanked out of her stupor, Ruby’s eyes widened. Kanan was staring at her in shock, her chest heaving. “Kan...Kanan...” Ruby didn’t know what else to say, so she stood there, staring shamelessly.

 

Kanan broke eye contact first, pointing her eyes to the floor of the tub. “Wait for me in the living room.”

* * *

 

Ruby almost fell asleep on the couch, but she perked up when she saw Kanan standing in front of her, dressed in a tank top and sweatpants. Her hair was pulled back into its ponytail. She had a serious expression on her face. “Ruby,” she began, sitting down, “why were you watching me?”

 

“I-I’m sorry, Kanan,” Ruby said, bursting into tears. She was shaking. Kanan probably thought she was a pervert. “I thought you might have been drowning, so I went in, but I saw you, and I...please don’t tell onee-chan!”

 

“What? Why would I tell Dia? Ruby, I’m not mad at you. I just want to know why you watched.”

 

“I don’t know! I’m so sorry. P-please forgi-give me!” Ruby really didn’t know why she stayed to watch Kanan. She just couldn’t take her eyes off of her. The throbbing between her legs seemed to tell her a lot, but how could she tell Kanan that watching her touch herself made her...like that? Ruby thought about it again, and she felt a strong pull in her groin. Ruby began to shake. She crossed her legs, shutting her eyes tight. “Kanan, please, I’m sorry, can we forget about-”

 

“Ruby,” Kanan said softly. Her hand raised up and fell on Ruby’s knee. Ruby jerked away, but Kanan advanced on her. That touch felt hotter than any other one that Kanan had given her that night. Kanan laughed. “Ruby, did you watch me because you liked the way it made you feel? Because you wanted me to make you feel the same way?”

 

Green, tear-brimmed irises revealed themselves as Ruby pried her eyes open. Kanan was smiling as if nothing was wrong, as if this weren’t the most _embarrassing_ situation ever. Ruby couldn’t respond. She was frozen, unsure. Kanan hummed a little bit and cocked her head. Without any further hesitation, Kanan leaned forward and planted a kiss on Ruby’s lips. It was nothing but a small peck, but Ruby still felt her heart pound against her ribcage. “Yes,” Ruby finally said, almost _dizzy_ from anticipation. “Please make me feel the same way...Kanan...”

 

Kanan gently pried Ruby’s legs apart, turning Ruby so that her back was against the arm of the couch. Kanan nestled herself between Ruby’s legs, moving in for another kiss. Something wet and warm brushed against Ruby’s lips firmly, and she opened her mouth compliantly, surprised but definitely not opposed to Kanan’s tongue entering her mouth. She timidly did the same, her tongue teasing along Kanan’s plump bottom lip and exploring her mouth. The kiss was tender, slow, sloppy, everything Ruby could have wanted in a real first kiss. She had never expected it to be with Kanan, but for some reason, she felt like she had wanted it all along. Ruby felt deliriously ecstatic when Kanan moaned softly into her mouth, but Kanan pulled away right after. “You’re so beautiful, Ruby,” she murmured, unbuttoning Ruby’s pajama top. Feeling her chest being exposed really made the idea sink in: _Oh my gosh. Me and Kanan are going to do it. We’re going to have_ sex _together._ “Anybody would be lucky to have you...I guess for tonight, the lucky person is me.”

 

 _For tonight._ Oh. Right. Kanan was drunk and probably wasn’t looking for anything but a quick go-round. Dia had mentioned something like that, too, talking about people who wanted nothing but pleasure from girls and wouldn’t hesitate to throw them away afterwards. Ruby had always assumed that those people were filthy, brash, men, but she had never expected Kanan to be that type. Nozomi’s words from earlier rang in Ruby’s ears. Even then, Ruby couldn’t pull away from Kanan. Her feelings were too strong to throw away an opportunity like that, even if her feelings were unreciprocated. Ruby shrugged the top off as Kanan hooked her thumbs in her pajama pants and slid them down Ruby’s trembling legs. Ruby blushed at the thought of Kanan being able to see the wet, sticky spot on her panties. Kanan leaned down and kissed that very spot, her lips warm and soft even through the fabric of the panties. Ruby shifted when she felt it, but nothing else; however, her collected demeanor crumbled when she felt Kanan’s tongue stroking her through the silk of the underwear, teasing and twisting. “Kanan, p-please,” Ruby squeaked, biting her lip.

 

“You want it, Ruby...you want it a lot,” Kanan said, grinning. “I want you, too. That’s why I couldn’t help myself...” Kanan did away with Ruby’s underwear, leaving her fully-clothed while Ruby was fully exposed to her. Kanan kissed the inside of Ruby’s thigh. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” Another kiss. “I haven’t been able to stop...” Another. “For a long time.” A trail of kisses, up Ruby’s thigh, until Ruby could _feel_ Kanan’s breath tickling her groin. Ruby bucked her hips a little, and Kanan chuckled. “Ruby. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this.”

 

Ruby had no time to ponder those words. Her mind went blank when she felt Kanan’s tongue slowly parting her slick, pink folds. Kanan was hardly moving, yet Ruby was digging her nails into the sofa cushions and whimpering helplessly. Kanan hummed pleasantly, obviously liking the taste of her new lover. The tongue strokes sped up. Ruby could hear the lewd noises coming from between her legs as Kanan lapped up Ruby’s juices hungrily. One of Ruby’s hands released the couch and moved to Kanan’s head, clutching her. “Kanan-senpai, it-it feels...” Ruby couldn’t find words to describe the burning excitement that Kanan’s talented mouth brought her. The pleasure only intensified when Kanan moved her head upwards and began to press kisses onto Ruby’s swollen clit. Just the light brush of Kanan’s lips against her made her cry out.

 

Next, she felt the wet warmth of Kanan’s mouth wrapped around her clit completely, her tongue flicking back and forth on Ruby’s rosebud. The throbbing sensation got more vibrant, her eyes slipping shut as she tried her best to hold back all of the embarrassing noises she was on the verge of making. Kanan seemed determined to draw those noises forth, flicking her tongue faster and faster every time Ruby stifled another moan. When Ruby yelped, Kanan murmured her approval, an encouraging “good girl” that warmed Ruby’s cheeks. Ruby let out more yelps and whines when Kanan started to suck hard on Ruby’s clit, her tiny moans sending vibrations up Ruby’s spine. At that point, Ruby was starting to disregard the shamelessness of her actions; if Kanan wanted her to make those kinds of noises, she would do it.

 

The attention on her clit ceased when Kanan moved back down to the source of Ruby’s nectar, noisily drinking up the sticky juices that had accumulated there. The hunger that Kanan seemed to have for Ruby only made Ruby more aroused. Ruby couldn’t help looking down, watching as Kanan teased her entrance, her eyes half-lidded. Ruby jumped a little when she felt Kanan’s tongue trying to wriggle its way inside of her. The feeling was so explicitly lewd. Never having felt such carnal pleasures before, Ruby couldn’t help but lose control of herself, pulling Kanan even closer to her. Kanan didn’t show any signs of complaint, instead raising her hands up to clutch Ruby’s thighs and work harder. Ruby’s legs raised and wrapped around Kanan’s head instinctively, and her hips began to buck into Kanan’s mouth. A tiny bit of guilt filled Ruby; she was so shameless, giving into her selfish urges like that; but she couldn’t control herself. Being able to get such pleasure from Kanan after imagining having her for so long...Ruby could no longer deny that she had had those kinds of feelings for Kanan for longer than she cared to admit. Every time she looked down and saw Kanan’s face, she felt the urge to smile, and not just because Kanan was making her feel so good.

 

Suddenly, Kanan pulled away, panting. Her head tilted sideways, with her temple resting on Ruby’s left thigh. “Ruby,” she whispered, her voice thick. Ruby had never heard Kanan like that, had never heard such desperation and emotion in her voice. “Ruby, I want to do something different, okay?”

 

Kanan climbed off of the couch, and Ruby wanted to scream, cry, yell, _beg_ Kanan to keep doing what she was doing, but the thought was swept away from her when Kanan picked her up, bridal-style, and carried her to her bedroom. It felt like a scene from a romance movie, but Ruby knew deep down that it was nothing like that. Kanan placed her on the bed and began to remove her own clothes, flinging them haphazardly around the room. Ruby wondered if the other clothes from the floor were from other girls, maybe girls that Kanan had taken home from the bar just like Nozomi said. Ruby tried to ignore the niggling thought as Kanan climbed on top of her and pinned her to the bed by her wrists, squeezing gently as she claimed Ruby’s mouth again. Her kiss was rough enough to leave Ruby’s lips swollen and pink. When they pulled away, Ruby was breathless. She panted, “You taste different...” There was something tangy about Kanan’s taste. Ruby smacked her lips softly, then blushed when she caught Kanan staring.

 

“That’s your taste, Ruby. Do you like it?” Ruby nodded, mesmerized. Kanan leaned in and gave her another kiss, albeit more relaxed. When Kanan pulled away, she licked her lips and purred, “I like it, too.” Ruby swore she could feel a blush all the way up to her ears. Kanan leaned in and began to kiss and suck on Ruby’s neck. Ruby was sure she was leaving bruises, but Kanan felt so good that she didn’t even care. Ruby found herself not caring about a lot of things when Kanan was around.

 

Kanan’s hand roamed Ruby’s body, stopping at her breasts to run a thumb over her perked nipples. Next, it trailed down and moved to Ruby’s hip, caressing her carefully. Finally, her hand reached the apex of Ruby’s thighs, the place where Ruby felt as if a fire were being kindled. She longed for Kanan’s touch there, and when Kanan’s fingers brushed against her clit, she began to shake. “Kanan...Kanan-”

 

“I know, Ruby. I know you need it. I want to try something. Lay back and let me make you feel good.” That last sentence made Ruby twitch. She relaxed into the bed as Kanan told her to, shutting her eyes. She re-opened them when she felt Kanan spreading her legs. Kanan was pulling Ruby towards her a bit, climbing on top of her, and-

 

 _Oh...that’s what she’s doing._ Ruby clawed at the sheets as Kanan lowered her own pussy down to Ruby’s, sighing in relief as she did. A lewd expression was on Kanan’s face that only encouraged Ruby’s arousal. Kanan had her arms wrapped around Ruby’s leg, bracing them together as she began to roll her hips smoothly. Ruby yelped as she felt the warmth of Kanan’s crotch against hers. She knew that Kanan was soaking wet, but she couldn’t tell where Kanan ended and where she began. Ruby felt like it was an intimate position, or maybe it was just her feelings for Kanan that made her feel that way. It didn’t matter to Ruby anymore. All she wanted was for Kanan to move faster, to give her more.

 

Ruby felt a ticklish kiss pressed against the sole of her foot, but she couldn’t laugh through all of her moaning. Kanan kept pressing feather-light kisses to her ankle, her toes, her foot. Through pleasure-narrowed eyes, Ruby could see that Kanan was blushed, biting her lip and panting like a dog. Her hips kept a steady rhythm, but Ruby could see that Kanan was feeling immense pleasure just as Ruby was.

 

That idea was only confirmed when Ruby heard a ragged moan from above her. When Ruby looked up again, Kanan looked as if she were in pain somehow, her face twisted. “Kanan...Kanan-senpai,” Ruby choked out.

 

“Ruby. Ruby. Ruby,” Kanan chanted, moving her hips faster. They both jerked when their clits glided across each other, and Kanan yelped, surprisingly girlish.

 

“P-please make more of those noises, Kanan...” The plea slipped out before Ruby could even think about it, but the heated voice of Kanan turned her on beyond words. Kanan moaning Ruby’s name was beyond Ruby’s wildest fantasies. It was almost surreal, watching Kanan grind against her desperately in an attempt to reach her peak.

 

Kanan obliged; willingly or not, she started to whimper and moan, her cheek resting against Ruby’s foot as she moved her hips even faster. She kept moving so that their clits were getting wet with the other’s juices and rubbing against each other, amplifying the pleasure for both of them. “Ruby, I’m close,” Kanan hissed. “Fuck...”

 

The curse word that slipped from Kanan’s pink, plump lips surprised Ruby, but made her moan under her breath nonetheless. Kanan seemed to be rutting against Ruby wildly at that point. Ruby’s sweat-slicked body was thrumming with a sensation unlike any other, and Ruby could tell that she was getting close too. She couldn’t even form words, only able to pant and moan her approval. Ruby began to see stars, her body getting warmer and warmer as everything around her ceased to exist except Kanan. Another kiss was pressed to her foot, and the tickling sensation that she had felt before changed to a hot, burning sensation that set off every part of Ruby’s body at once. For a second, Ruby became frightened, unsure of what it meant: the tense feeling in her bones; the unstoppable shakiness of her body; the unquenchable thirst she felt, the thirst for Kanan.

 

And then, it stopped.

 

Ruby climaxed hard and Kanan stilled atop her, only able to grind in short, choppy motions as she, too, reached peak. It felt as if Ruby was no longer in Kanan’s room, in her bed; she was somewhere else, somewhere higher, unable to touch the ground as her body pulsed with unspeakable gratification. Kanan had leaned over her, and Ruby could hear Kanan’s screams and shouts in high definition, curses and pleas amidst utterances of Ruby’s name. Finally, they both quieted; Ruby didn’t even realize she was moaning so loudly until she fell silent, save for her heavy pants.

 

Kanan had collapsed on top of Ruby after releasing Ruby’s leg, trying to catch her breath and still twitching from the aftershocks of her orgasm. Ruby experimentally lifted her arm, wrapping it around Kanan a bit selfishlessly. Kanan responded by planting a lazy kiss on Ruby’s temple, slightly open-mouthed and affectionate.

 

That kind of situation always seemed awkward in the movies Ruby had seen, a silent, tense regret after a spur-of-the-moment rapid lovemaking session. However, all Ruby felt was some kind of relaxed peace, a sleepy, magical nirvana that she never wanted to leave. Ruby wondered if that was just some kind of post-orgasm happiness, or if it was...

 

_Love..._

 

“You don’t mind if I fall asleep, do you?” Kanan mumbled. Her voice still sounded a bit alien to Ruby, far-away. “If I’m too heavy...”

 

“Can we roll, please? If you’re comfortable, we don’t have to.”

 

They both felt heavy-boned, but Kanan nodded, and together, they switched positions, with Ruby laying on top of Kanan. Kanan was soft and warm, and Ruby snuggled into her without any reservations. All skepticism that Ruby had had about Kanan, about the other girls that Nozomi had mentioned...it was thrown out of the window. No, the feeling that Ruby had...there was no way that Kanan had just _given_ that to other girls. There was no way that Kanan told other girls that she couldn’t stop thinking about them, that she’s wanted them for a long time. Or was there? _I don’t even know...I should want to know. I should ask, I should ask if I even mean anything._

 

But she couldn’t.

 

She was so happy, just being right there, not worried about what they _were_ or how they would turn out afterward. There was nothing but Kanan, nothing but the cool blue of her room and the smell of peppermint mixed with sweat.

 

Kanan, just as she had earlier, had fallen asleep quickly, her eyes shut tight and a light snore coming from her. Ruby lifted her arm, her hand near the switch of the lamp. For a second, she watched Kanan sleep, wondering if she had done the right thing. Her other hand reached up, cupping Kanan’s cheek in her hand; subconsciously (or perhaps not), Kanan nuzzled Ruby’s hand.

 

Ruby turned out the light and dreamed sweet dreams.


	2. Chapter 2

Ruby had always imagined that, after an endless night of lovemaking, she would wake up in bed next to her lover, who would slowly wake after her and greet her with a kiss to the forehead. The sun would spill in and wash over her skin like liquid gold, making her eyes sparkle enticingly (which would perhaps start up a round of tender morning sex). However, there was none of that. She woke up with her arm hanging off of Kanan’s bed, with her phone lowly playing some random μ's song. But it wasn’t just _any_ μ's song; it was an Eli solo version of _Love Novels,_  the personal favorite of Ruby’s older sister Dia.

 

It was Dia’s ringtone.

 

Scrambling for her phone, Ruby nearly rolled off of the bed. She caught herself just in time, and, sliding the button across the screen, she answered in a whisper; she could feel Kanan’s sleeping form next to her. “Hello? O-onee-chan?”

 

“Ruby, what have you been doing? I’ve called you six times and left three messages!” Dia sounded furious. Ruby groaned inwardly; she appreciated her sister’s care, but sometimes, Dia could be...overwhelming.

 

“I was sleeping...”

 

“At one in the afternoon?” Ruby pulled the phone away from her ear and checked. Sure enough, it was half past one. _I can’t believe I slept that long!_ “Please refrain from sleeping so late, even if it _is_ a Saturday!”

 

The familiar scolding tone still made Ruby feel shameful, even after all of those years. “I’m sorry, onee-chan...”

 

“Listen, I was going to swing by in a couple of minutes, but you obviously need time to get yourself together. I’m going to be nearby today, so I’d like to spend some time with you. I’ll be by at four.”

 

Ruby sighed silently in relief. There was no telling what kinds of questions Dia would ask if she found out that Ruby had stayed the night at Kanan’s house. “Alright, onee-chan. I’ll see you then.”

 

“Don’t go back to sleep!”

 

“I’m up, I’m up...” Dia hung up abruptly after that, and Ruby sighed shakily. Already, she was feeling the repercussions of the night before, and they weren’t too savory. Ruby sat up and looked down at her naked form and instantly was reminded of the deeds she had committed the night before, of Kanan’s tongue caressing her clit, of the almost _nauseating_ amount of pleasure she felt as she climaxed...well, maybe the repercussions didn’t outweigh the positives, and that was all Ruby cared about at the moment. Next to her, she felt and heard stirring; Kanan was waking up. The image of Kanan sitting up and stretching, with the covers falling off of her breasts and into her lap, was way better than all of Ruby’s morning-after fantasies combined. Kanan smiled evenly at Ruby, calm as always. “G-good morning, Kanan-senpai.”

 

“Mm. Morning. Was that Dia?” Kanan yawned, and Ruby had to clench her hand to keep herself from reaching up and patting Kanan on the head like a good little puppy. It was oh-so tempting, though...

 

“Yeah. She wants me to be ready for her to pick me up at four. She’s in the area,” Ruby explained. Kanan’s bed was so _warm_ and _cozy_ and she was still so _tired..._ “Ah...I wanna see her, but...”

 

Ruby paused. She wanted to say “I want to see her, but I want to stay here with you”, but she realized how stupid that would have been. There’s no way Kanan actually wanted her there that bad. She was just being polite instead of kicking her out because they’ve known each other for so long. There was no doubt in Ruby’s mind that if she were just some random girl from the bar, Kanan would’ve kicked her to the curb by now. Ruby was starting to get more and more of a detailed image of what kind of woman Kanan was, and it left a sour taste in her mouth. Instead of telling Kanan what she was originally thinking, Ruby just punctuated her sentence with a half-hearted shrug, and Kanan put her hand to her chin in a thinking motion. “Four, you say? Hmm. I wonder if she wants some sister-sister bonding time? If not, I wouldn’t mind tagging along. It’s been awhile since me and Dia have talked for longer than ten minutes over the phone.”

 

“Just sisters,” Ruby blurted. She wasn’t sure why, but she would rather play it safe. Part of her wanted to ask Dia about people like Kanan, people who _use_ others, and what to do when you fall in love with one. Ruby wasn’t sure if she had really _fallen in love_ with Kanan, but she knew that there was some kind of strong feeling there, and Dia seemed like the best person to ask. After all, Hanamaru knew little to nothing of love, Yoshiko would no doubt play the entire situation up and run Ruby in circles, and the other members of Aquors weren’t close enough to Ruby for her to disclose something like that to them. Dia was always Ruby’s go-to anyway. “Maybe we can all go together another time.”

 

Kanan gave Ruby a blank stare, and Ruby felt as if she were being judged. Then, all of a sudden, Kanan shrugged in a relaxed motion. “Sounds fine. Would you like a shower before I take you home?”

 

 _She’s not kicking you out, Ruby, she just wants to give you enough time to get ready..._ Ruby told herself that, but there was something about Kanan that wasn’t like the Kanan from last night. There were no subtle touches or blindingly brilliant smiles. Kanan wasn’t shutting Ruby out, per se; she still had her normal, cool, collected demeanor...but something about it was distant, just distantly polite. Ruby partly felt like she was being too sensitive about it. _Maybe I’m just letting Nozomi’s words get to me._ “Um,” Ruby started, “n-no, I’ll just do it at my house...”

 

“Oh. Alright, then. I’ll get dressed. You do the same, okay?” Kanan nodded curtly and gave a small smile before getting up from the bed, and Ruby watched her go before getting up and getting her clothes.

* * *

On the car ride to Ruby’s apartment, Kanan was mostly silent, and when Ruby spoke up once and made a comment about the weather (a basic topic, just to _see_ if Kanan was even remotely interested in _any_ kind of conversation), Kanan just gave that same, short nod. Ruby was starting to feel a bone-chilling, threatening dread hang over her. Every second of silence brought the dread closer and closer until Ruby finally came to the conclusion that she had messed up her and Kanan’s relationship forever.

 

By the time they had pulled up to Ruby’s apartment, Ruby had held back a sob twice and had held back what felt like a million tears. She didn’t look at Kanan and she was sure Kanan wasn’t looking at her when she said, “Thanks. F-for everything...”

 

“Anytime, Ruby.” _Anytime...but you won’t even look at me..._ “Have fun with Dia, and be good.”

 

Ruby nodded and got out, trying not to slam the door (God knows Kanan’s car already looked like it was falling apart). Ruby walked up to her apartment door and fumbled for her keys, but as she tried to put them in the lock, she dropped them. As soon as she heard the dull clatter of the keys hitting the carpet, Ruby gave in, sliding down to the floor against the door and letting her tears flow down her blushed cheeks. They weren’t silent, either; she was sobbing, gasping, hiccuping, begging for some way to fix what she had broken. Ruby had wanted it, she had watched Kanan in the bathtub, she let Kanan pull her legs apart and do whatever she wanted, she had _asked_ for their friendship to be destroyed. All because she wanted Kanan in any way she could get her, even if it meant a night of pleasure and nothing more. Ruby thought it would be easy to feel Kanan’s skin, her lips, her body, then be able to be satisfied with what she had gotten. But it wasn’t that easy. She _craved_ more. She _needed_ it.

 

Ruby sat there for so long that her butt got numb, lucky to not encounter any of her neighbors. She shakily raised her phone, and when she checked the time, she realized it was two thirty. At that moment she rose on unsteady feet, taking the keys up with her. She finally unlocked the door and walked in, placing her keys in the bowl by the front door. Exhaling, Ruby set about getting herself ready, taking a scalding hot shower in the hopes of washing the feel of Kanan off of her. It was ultimately futile. She really didn’t know why she thought she could just let the water run over her skin, and she would suddenly be free of all guilt and misdeed. Ruby ran her fingers over her newly cleaned skin once she got out of the shower, wishing that her fingers were Kanan’s fingers, Kanan’s tongue, Kanan’s body. Why did she oh-so-badly desire what had broken her?

 

Zombie-like, Ruby got cleaned up and dressed, ending up in a cute red dress and black flats. She added a fashionable scarf to hide the hickeys on her neck. She had just finished brushing her hair and putting it into pigtails when she heard a firm knock on her door. Ruby looked into the mirror one last time. Her eyes were a little puffy from tears, but she was otherwise fine. _I’m going to have fun with onee-chan today. There’s no reason I should be thinking about Kanan at all._

 

Taking a deep breath, Ruby stood and walked over to the door, opening it and smiling meekly. “Good afternoon, onee-chan.”

 

Dia didn’t make a move to come in, her brow furrowed. Ruby gulped; Dia was giving Ruby the gaze that she gave when she was scrutinizing, searching. Dia shut her eyes tight, then sighed, shaking her head. “I knew you weren’t just sleeping in for no reason. You’ve been crying about something. What happened? Are your grades falling?”

 

Tears welled up in Ruby’s eyes again. Her face was actually sore from crying. She was so tired of crying, but she couldn’t stop. How could she tell Dia how shameful and impulsive she had been? How could she tell Dia that she had fallen into the trap of one of the people that Dia had warned her about? Ruby didn’t want to be scolded anymore. She knew that she had made a mistake, and the guilt was already overwhelming. However, when Dia looked at her so earnestly, she didn’t want to lie, and she wouldn’t be able to get away with it, anyway. Sniveling and trembling, Ruby croaked out, “I made a mistake.” Dia placed her hand on Ruby’s shoulder, then gently pushed past her and sat on the couch in the living room. Ruby took a seat next to her, putting her face in her hands. The silence in the room grew thick. When Ruby looked up, she saw that Dia was looking at her with a quiet, questioning stare. Ruby couldn’t look Dia in the face. She fixed her eyes on the black screen of the television set and whispered, “Last night, I did it. I did it with someone who doesn’t even love me back! I’m an idiot, I’m an idiot, I-”

 

“Ruby, you don’t mean that you...” Dia swallowed hard, her face twisted in disbelief. Ruby wasn’t sure what was worse; that expression, or straight-up disappointment. “With who?”

 

Ah, the golden question. Ruby wasn’t even sure if she should lie or tell the truth, but she was too fucking tired, too upset to even consider lying to Dia. So she spilled it all, starting from the very moment Yoshiko called and asked her to go to the club. “...and then I saw Kanan in the bathtub, and she was moaning my name, and-and she took me back to her room, and we-we-and then I felt so great, onee-chan, I felt so happy, I didn’t think anything could go _wrong_ but it did, and-”

 

“Ruby, slow down,” Dia commanded, firmly grasping Ruby’s shoulders. Ruby was crying for real by then, almost unable to breathe through all of her sobs and tears. Ruby raised her arms, and Dia embraced her, holding her tight. “God, Ruby. This is such a mess...are you telling me that you have feelings for Kanan?”

 

“I think so...I don’t know...I don’t know why I feel this way. I want it to go away,” Ruby wailed. Why did she feel such an empty ache, after that lovely _ascension_ she felt the night before? She wanted Kanan, even if Kanan was the reason why she felt so terrible.

 

“What happened this morning? You were at Kanan’s when I called?”

 

Nodding, Ruby explained, “She was nice to me like always, but...she just wasn’t the same as always...she was just...she just wasn’t interested...”

 

“I knew Kanan liked to do this to girls...but I never thought that she’d...to you...” Ruby could hear the anger seeping through Dia’s words, and she immediately felt guilty. After all, she knew what Kanan was like. Her turmoil was just as much her fault as it was Kanan’s. An aching regret shook Ruby’s bones as she thought of all the times Kanan’s...lifestyle niggled at her during their time together, all the times she could have told Kanan that she didn’t want that kind of thing. No, Kanan wasn’t the only one to blame; at least, Ruby thought so. “She’s shameless...! Shameless!”

 

“Wait, o-onee-chan!” Ruby exclaimed, trying to steady her voice. “It’s not _all_ Kanan’s fault, I...when we were at the bar. Tojo-san told me that Kanan was like that to girls, and...I knew all along. It’s not just Kanan’s fault.”

 

Ruby was relieved to get it out, sure that her confession would quell Dia’s anger and fix everything. Yes, Dia would tell Ruby that everything would be alright, and that she made a mistake but everything was okay. Dia would hug her tight and tell her that, even though it felt bad then, everything would be better. That’s what Ruby expected, but she got something completely different. Dia pulled away from her slowly, looking her in the eyes. It was far beyond the usual scolding, disappointed stare; no, Dia looked at Ruby with a sentiment reminiscent of disgust, contempt. “You knew that Kanan just wanted to use you,” Dia said, slowly, grimly. “You knew, but you wanted to do it with her anyway?”

 

It was as if Dia had reached into Ruby’s chest and wrapped her fingers around her heart and squeezed, squeezed, squeezed- “I really liked her. I really _like_ her, and...when she asked, I...” God, it sounded a lot worse when she said it aloud. She sounded desperate. Was she desperate? The _want_ that Ruby had felt, she had to sate it, it had been burning her alive. Was she really so horrible for taking the opportunity when it came to her? She tried as hard as she could to conjure some feeling of hatred towards herself, towards Kanan, but she kept thinking about Kanan’s tongue on her tongue, on her skin, of Kanan arching her back and making those noises that Ruby loved so dearly. She may have felt bad about part of it, but there was no mistaking how _good_ she had felt.

 

“When she asked, you gave her what she wanted.” Dia’s voice sounded even, but Ruby could tell. Ruby could tell that Dia was angry. “I thought you would have known better than that, Ruby. I thought you would have respected yourself enough to-”

 

“I do,” Ruby whispered, reaching for Dia’s hand. Dia pulled away. “I do respect myself! I just-Kanan, she-”

 

“Do you even regret what you did?”

 

Ruby jolted, recoiled, as if Dia had just reached over and slapped her in the face. Why, she might as well have, saying those awful things. “What do you mean? Of course I do, you-you saw me crying, you saw that-”

 

“You’re telling me...that if Kanan came up to you right now, and asked you to do it again, you would say no?”

 

“Onee-chan, why are you asking me this?” Ruby felt herself rolling away from shame and towards anger. Why was Dia being so accusatory, talking to Ruby like she was some filthy degenerate? “Of course I...”

 

Ruby paused. She went back to those feelings of desperation, of wanting to have Kanan any way she could get her, even if it meant being nothing but a fucktoy. Was it really worth it? Was it worth the subtle cold shoulder, was it worth being shut out again? Ruby bit her tongue so hard that she was sure she could taste blood. Her mouth stayed shut, but her brain was screaming its answer: _yes, yes, yes, I’d do it again, I’d do it ten times over if it meant touching her again!_

 

Dia shook her head, standing. Ruby gasped a little and reached her hand up to Dia, silently begging for her not to go. “You need time to think, Ruby. Maybe we can go out some other time.”

 

Ruby’s hand stayed frozen in the air. She wanted a small sign, something that told her that Dia felt some kind of sympathy, or anything but disgust and hatred, but she got nothing. Dia walked away, slamming the door behind her.

* * *

The question Dia had posed earlier presented itself again later on that day. After Dia left, Ruby had simply fallen asleep on the couch fully-dressed, trying not to think too much about Kanan. She was startled out of her sleep at around seven thirty by the sound of her phone ringing. It was her standard ringtone; the only people who had special ones were Dia, Yoshiko, and Maru, and those were the only people that she felt like talking to at the moment (except for Dia, of course). However, she picked it up off of the coffee table and stared blankly at the screen. She felt as if she were about to burst into tears when she read the name, clearly stated:

 

_MATSUURA KANAN._

 

Ruby took a deep breath, deciding to make herself sound as normal as she possibly could. She could feel her lips quivering, but she was determined to not let it leak into her voice. _Don’t let Kanan know that you hurt. Don’t let Kanan know that you hurt._ After a few more inhales and exhales, Ruby answered and said, “H-hello?”

 

“Ruby,” Kanan greeted coolly. Ruby felt almost _guilty_ at how hot she thought Kanan sounded when she spoke. Ruby couldn’t tell by that one word if Kanan was still withdrawn or not, but she didn’t feel as crappy as she did earlier, so she took it as a good sign. “Are you still out with Dia?”

 

“No...”

 

A lump formed in Ruby’s throat. She had been trying not to think about Dia, but it was impossible. Just thinking of Dia scolding her made her feel shameless and disgusting all over again. Kanan simply said “hmph”, then added, “Did you have fun?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“...Did something happen, Ruby? Your answers seem to be a bit on the blunt side.”

 

“I-I always talk like this!”

 

“I know, but it just seems...alright. Okay. You’re a big girl,” Kanan said, chuckling awkwardly. “If something’s wrong, you’ll figure it out on your own. You’re a real smart girl, and...listen, Ruby, I had a lot of fun with you yesterday.” Ruby was afraid of what would come next. There was bound to be a “but”. Ruby didn’t even see the point of softening her up first when there was going to be a “but”. She would rather Kanan tell her that their relationship was nonexistent straight up instead of trying to hold her hand and walk her through a blatant rejection. That was what was coming next, Ruby knew. _I had a lot of fun with you yesterday but it wasn’t serious. I had a lot of fun with you yesterday but your emotions don’t matter to me. I had a lot of fun with you yesterday but you’re an idiot if you think we’re going to be anything._ That was what Ruby expected, and although she knew her projections were unfair, they were an expression of her feelings. However, Kanan surprised her by saying, “Well, I’m going back to the bar tonight, and, um, I wanted to invite you. It’s been so long since we’ve seen each other, y’know? And I want to catch up. We didn’t do much of that last night, because...heh. You know why.”

 

God, something like that really _was_ a joke to Kanan. She just mentioned it so casually, like bringing Ruby to the stars and back without even _loving_ her was just the biggest joke ever, like they had gone to the fucking carnival. Ruby wanted _so badly_ to be upset, but Kanan had invited her out again, and there wasn’t a bone in her body that wanted to say no. “Y-yeah. Okay. Let’s go.”

 

“Really? Thank goodness. I kind of thought you would say no. Let’s have a lot of fun. I’ll pick you up at nine?”

 

“Sounds good.”

 

“Alright, Ruby. I’ll see you in a bit!”

 

They hung up. Ruby immediately flared up. Fuck, that was a mistake. She wanted to hurl her phone at the wall, but that was a bad idea, she knew that even in a fit of rage. All of those emotions she was feeling...love, ecstasy, hatred, sadness...she didn’t know what to do with it all, so she just collapsed into tears, hoping against hope that falling in love wouldn’t lead her too far away from her sanity.

* * *

Kanan was on time, getting there at nine on the dot. Ruby had just finished cleaning up, still wearing the sundress from earlier. When Ruby looked in the mirror, she realized that her tears were less noticeable than before. She looked fine. That made her glad; if Kanan wanted to be emotionless and bland about the situation, then she would too. As Ruby walked down the stairs, she steeled herself, telling herself that she would just act like her and Kanan had never shared that night together. When Ruby arrived, she almost threw every notion of that out of the window. Kanan looked unbearably sexy, even though her look was obviously a casual not-trying type of look. She was dressed in a black tank-top, an unzipped camouflage hoodie, matching cargo pants, and black combat boots, and Ruby felt like she could just faint right on the spot. Kanan was leaning against the passenger door of her car passively, hands in her pockets. When she looked up and saw Ruby approaching, she grinned. “Ruby-chan,” she greeted playfully, straightening.

 

“H-hi,” Ruby said, trying not to show how affected she was by Kanan’s appearance. Ruby had to admit, she was always weak to an attractive girl...

 

Kanan opened the passenger door with a flourish, bowing and waving Ruby in. Ruby curtsied and entered. Kanan closed the door, slid over the hood of the car, and hopped into the driver’s seat. Kanan waved towards Ruby’s seatbelt. Ruby was confused for a second, before Kanan said, “Buckle up, ‘kay?”

 

“Oh...s-sorry,” Ruby mumbled, fumbling for her seatbelt. She found herself too nervous to buckle it, with her hands slipping over and over.

 

A little chuckle made her release the seatbelt and look up. Kanan was reaching over to buckle her seatbelt. Ruby tried to stop breathing, wondering if it sounded too loud. However, she eventually inhaled, and smelled a whiff of that peppermint scent again, with just a hint of the ocean. Ruby tensed, trying to stop herself from lunging forward and burying her face in Kanan’s hair. Kanan had said the day before, at the bar, that no matter how much she washed it, it always smelled like the ocean. Ruby loved it, and she was seriously considering asking Kanan if she could touch it, before she heard a click next to her. “There we go. Nice and snug.” Kanan yanked it a little to make sure it was secure and then sat back. “Let’s get a move on, okay?”

 

Ruby smiled and nodded, deciding not to point out the fact that Kanan hadn’t even put on her own seatbelt.

* * *

The bar was empty when they arrived, save for a middle-aged woman idly chatting with the bartender. Ruby and Kanan took a seat at the same booth they sat at the day before. Ruby wouldn’t have minded seeing Eli and Nozomi again, but she was glad to be alone with Kanan. However, once they sat down, Ruby began to worry. Would Kanan be expecting the same thing that she did the night before? A quick, drunk tryst that she would have forgotten about the next morning? Ruby looked down at the swirls in the wood of the table as the waitress came over. She really _had_ made a mistake. It was all going to happen again, and she blindly stumbled right into it. Kanan would order a drink, then another, then another, and her hands would start to shamelessly fondle Ruby like they did the night before, all breathless giggles and grins-

 

“I’ll just have grape soda, please. There’s no way I’ll be able to get up for my workout tomorrow if I have anything too heavy,” Kanan grumbled playfully. The waitress giggled, a slave to Kanan’s charm even when she wasn’t really trying.

 

“And you, ma’am?” The waitress turned to Ruby.

 

“U-uh, just ginger ale!”

 

The waitress nodded, her eyes lingering on Kanan just a bit too long before she walked away. Kanan chuckled under her breath, and Ruby wondered if Kanan had slept with her... _Who cares about that? Kanan didn’t order any alcohol! Maybe she_ isn’t _looking for a repeat of yesterday. Maybe she really likes me back..._ It was a bit of a reach, but regardless, Ruby was grinning like an idiot. All of a sudden, she felt a gentle elbow in her side. “Why so smile-y? I never mind seeing a cute little grin, but I’m just curious.”

 

“Oh, well-” Wait. Did Kanan just call her smile cute...completely sober? Okay, the night was going perfectly. Ruby actually thought she would die for a second. “Haha...um...I’m just in a good mood, I guess!”

 

“Hmm, because of Dia?” Kanan casually draped her arm around Ruby’s shoulder. _Ah...she has to slow down, or I just might lose my mind..._ Not even the mention of her older sister could take that euphoria away from her.

 

“Yeah,” Ruby chirped. “I had...tons of fun earlier!”

 

Kanan grinned, and Ruby nearly melted when she winked. It seemed like Kanan was just pulling out all of the stops that night. “Well,” Kanan said, drawing the word out. For some reason, the way she said it was a bit unnerving, and Ruby felt like things were about to go left. And, of course...they did. “I hope you’re ready to have some _more_ fun. Mari called me right before I called you, and she thought we could all meet up somewhere together! She’s bringing Dia right now! Doesn’t that sound fun? She was a little bit skeptical about me bringing you to a lesbian bar, but when I told her that you would be fine with it, she...”

 

Ruby tuned Kanan out and went pale. Not even the blinding radiance of Kanan’s smile could perk her up. As if on cue, the bell above the bar’s door jingled, and in came Mari and Dia. Ruby sank into the seat a little bit as Kanan stood up, grinning and waving her arm.

 

And then, all hell broke loose.

 

“Mari? You didn’t _tell_ me that _she_ was going to be here.”

 

“It was a surprise,” Mari said. She said it with her usual cheer, but Ruby could hear the hesitation.

 

The bar was already pretty quiet, but at that point, one could hear a pin drop. Still oblivious to Dia’s seething rage, Kanan hopped out of the booth and walked toward Dia, arms spread. “Ah, Dia! It’s been ages. I know college is a hassle, but, really, you’ve gotta keep up with-”

 

“Don’t you dare lay a hand on me,” Dia hissed, stepping backwards. Mari was clutching her forearm, as if trying to keep her grounded. Ruby got out of the booth as well, standing beside Kanan. Before she could speak up, Dia said, “Ruby, I’m sorry for being so harsh to you earlier. This isn’t your fault.”

 

“What? What’s not her fault? And what’s your deal?” Kanan seemed as calm as always, but it was obvious that she was quite confused.

 

Mari chipped in, “M-maybe we should all talk outside...”

 

Kanan blinked hard, then dropped some bills on the table and walked out behind Mari and Dia. As they walked through the door, Kanan turned to Ruby and whispered, “Should I not have invited them? Mari didn’t mention Dia being angry on the phone...”

 

Ruby was once again quickly overshadowed by her sister, who shouted, “You know exactly what I mean! You were supposed to be Ruby’s friend, _my_ friend...but instead, you take advantage of her?!”

 

“T-take advantage? Woah, Dia, that’s pretty heavy...I didn’t do anything like that to Ruby. I never would. A-at least not on purpose!” Kanan said, astonished. She turned to Ruby, and Ruby felt her heart pang when she saw the apology in Kanan’s eyes. She really _didn’t_ know how much she had hurt Ruby, did she?

 

Even Mari was looking to Ruby for answers, still holding onto Dia’s arm. Dia was trembling, and Ruby could tell that she was getting angrier by the second, and things would quickly go downhill if they continued in that way. Eyes downcast, Ruby said, “Onee-chan, please don’t get into any fights...if you want to talk, you should c-calm down first!”

 

“Ruby’s right. I don’t know what this is about, but if you have a problem with Kanan, you need to talk it out like an adult,” Mari scolded.

 

“Fine. Then I’ll just say what’s on my mind, then,” Dia said, evenly. Even though her tone was solemn, Ruby knew that there was something vile bubbling under the surface. Dia broke away from Mari and walked right up to Kanan, so close that Ruby was sure Kanan could feel Dia’s breath. Kanan stayed still, looking Dia in the eye with the same relaxed expression she always had. “You went to this bar yesterday.”

 

“Yes,” Kanan said, not backing down. Mari seemed to be frozen, torn between watching the scene play out and dragging Dia away. Ruby herself was panicking. She didn't know whose side to take. Kanan _had_ hurt her, and Dia was coming to her defense. But Kanan didn't seem to be doing anything on purpose to harm Ruby, and Ruby didn't know if she could feel any kind of actual anger towards Kanan.

 

“Ruby was with you.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“You took her to your apartment.”

 

“Mm-hm.”

 

“You. Took. Advantage. Of. Her.”

 

“No, I didn’t. Ruby wanted everything we did that night.”

 

“But she didn’t know any better. She didn’t know that you were a _scoundrel_ that would _use_ her and-”

 

“Dia, just back away.”

 

“So you don’t think there’s anything wrong with that? Taking a different girl home each week, making her feel like she’s special, then giving her the cold shoulder the next morning?”

 

The air got silent, tense. Ruby took a step forward, but just as she did, she heard Kanan laugh. Kanan didn’t back up one inch, but she laughed. It wasn’t like anything Ruby had heard from her before. It was dry, cynical, derisive. “Fine. There’s a lot wrong with it. I can admit that. It’s fucked up. But I never meant to hurt Ruby. Ruby’s different.”

 

Dia laughed too, just as wry. “And how many girls have you said _that_ about?”

 

“...I don’t know. But if me and Ruby have an issue, she needs to come talk to me. I don’t have to answer to you. So, back up, or we’re going to have a problem.” That was definitely a threat. Both Ruby and Mari lunged forward, but before they could, Dia was already punching Kanan square in the face. Kanan recoiled as she got hit, but quickly came back and tackled Dia to the ground, punching her back on the way down. They both landed another punch on each other and Dia managed to bite Kanan’s knuckles harshly before Kanan got the upper hand. Both Mari and Ruby began trying to drag Kanan away, but Kanan shouted, “Relax, relax! I’m just restraining her!”

 

Sure enough, Kanan had her knees on either side of Dia, pinning her to the ground by her wrists. Dia was struggling against her, her lips curled into an angry snarl. Eventually, she calmed down, but she was still furious enough to growl, “You're a traitor.”

 

“What are you talking about?! You're acting like I forced her into something,” Kanan shouted. “And this isn’t your problem, it’s _none_ of your business-”

 

“The moment you took her to your apartment, you knew that you would...you would do those things to her, then act so coldly! And you didn't think that that would hurt her?!”

 

“I...” Kanan still seemed furious, determined, but she was trembling. She released Dia’s wrists, and Dia shoved her, causing Kanan to fall backwards onto her butt. Ruby knelt by Kanan’s side and helped her stand. Kanan was staring dejectedly at the ground, but Ruby didn’t dare let her arm go.

 

Mari helped Dia up as well, and for a while, they all stood there in silence. Finally, Mari spoke up and said, “Maybe this wasn't a good idea, Kanan.”

 

Kanan didn't reply, but her expression was a bit more thoughtful than it was before. Ruby saw that as a good sign; the blank stare that had overcome Kanan for a couple of seconds had scared her greatly. Taking a deep breath, she murmured, “I never meant to hurt Ruby. She's different from other girls. I was selfish, and...I’m sorry. I’ll just go.”

 

“I’ll drive you,” Ruby said, and Kanan glanced up at her before looking away.

 

“Ruby...” Dia seemed to be at a loss for words, and Ruby feared that she had made a mistake again. However, Dia wasn’t at all angry. The tense, awkward air in the air seemed to affect even the poised Dia. “We’ll talk.”

 

Both Ruby and Kanan nodded, and it wasn’t clear who Dia was even talking to. Dia turned and started walking back to the car, Mari still hanging off of Dia’s arm. As they were getting into the car, though, Mari looked back over her shoulder and mouthed “text me” to Kanan.

 

Ruby found it amazing how Kanan managed to still give Mari a dazzling smile, even with a busted, bleeding lip.

* * *

The second they got in the door, Ruby sat down in the living room and Kanan went for the fridge, digging out a can of beer. Ruby felt a bit concerned, but Kanan getting a little buzzed was the least of her worries. When Ruby heard the fridge shut, she shouted, “D-do you have a first aid kit?”

 

“Yeah. What do you need it for?”

 

“Your face...and your hand...” Kanan’s lip had been bleeding the whole way home, and she swiped it on her sleeve every now and then, a gesture that Ruby hated to find so damn hot. Her knuckles were only slightly damaged by Dia’s teeth, but Ruby still wanted to disinfect the marks, at the very least. Ruby heard a drawer opening and closing right before Kanan came out of the kitchen.

 

Kanan plopped on the couch and popped open a beer, sighing in exhaustion and taking a sip. She had set the first aid kit on the table, so Ruby opened it and sat next to Kanan. Kanan turned to her and took another sip; she seemed to be watching over Ruby carefully, her eyes moving up and down not-so subtly. Ruby realized that the angle was awkward, so, steeling herself, she threw her leg over Kanan’s lap and straddled her, with one leg on either side of Kanan’s left leg. Kanan immediately averted her eyes, as if she felt guilty or ashamed. “What are you doing?”

 

“I need to clean your face. It’s hard to do it from where I was sitting,” Ruby said. She was turning pink; she hadn’t thought that Kanan would be so opposed to the idea.

 

However, opposition didn’t seem to be Kanan’s goal. She simply shrugged, took another sip of her beer, then set it down and leaned back. Ruby grabbed some disinfectant and wipes, then started to work on Kanan’s lip, trying to avoid brushing her thumb against it too suggestively or leaning in to just kiss her and kiss her and-

 

_No...I’ve made enough of a mess. We need to talk, not make the same mistake again..._

 

“Sorry,” Kanan said, although a little awkwardly due to Ruby cleaning her lip.

 

“For what?”

 

“You know.”

 

“What Dia said...she-”

 

Kanan cringed and ducked away from Ruby’s touch suddenly, making Ruby recoil. “It’s not just about what Dia said. But she was right. I didn’t want to hurt you, but I knew that what I was doing was wrong. Ruby, you deserve _so_ much better. I'm so sorry...”

 

“Kanan,” Ruby whispered, grabbing Kanan’s cheeks. She wasn't too forceful, but she made sure that Kanan was looking her in the eye. “What did you mean when you said I was...d-different?”

 

“It means that I'm in love with you, Ruby. It means that I can’t just let you go like I do with the others.” The blunt earnesty in Kanan’s expression made Ruby gasp. Ruby had to search every inch of Kanan’s face, she had to run her eyes over her lips, her cheeks, her nose, her tear-brimmed eyes...she had to look at every inch to realize that Kanan was being truthful. For a second, Ruby felt dizzy. Kanan reciprocating her feelings seemed to be unattainable, a mere fantasy, like sprouting wings or riding a unicorn. Ruby was only broken out of her trance by Kanan’s crooked grin. “I just couldn’t leave you alone after yesterday...even though I know you don’t like me the way that I like you. I tried to shut you out, but then Mari called me, and I knew that it would be impossible for me to just-”

 

Ruby interrupted, trying not to scream from excitement. “I do like you the way you like me! I-I-Kanan, I’m in love with you, too...when you got so distant, I got scared, and I thought that I was just a joke to you...”

 

“Nothing like that, Ruby. You mean the world to me. And I’ve felt this way for a long time,” Kanan admitted, her voice nothing more than a whisper. “Sometimes, I’d have to hold myself back, just so that I wouldn’t lose control of myself and...and...”

 

“And what?”

 

Kanan laughed, all too mischievous. Before Ruby could ask again, Kanan was grabbing her cheeks and pulling her in for a kiss, shutting her eyes. Ruby jerked forward, her hands automatically clutching Kanan’s shoulders. The kiss was almost eerily gentle. Ruby had expected Kanan to grope and tease, but they both seemed content with simply enjoying the feel of the other. Ruby felt a throbbing between her legs, but her usual urgency wasn’t there. When Kanan pulled away, her eyes were half-lidded, looking up at Ruby with a small, pleased smile on her face. “That. I had to stop myself from doing that.”

 

“You don’t have to stop yourself now. You can-you can do whatever you want,” Ruby said, almost embarrassed by how blunt and desperate she sounded. But it didn’t matter. She was on cloud nine. Kanan really felt the same about her. No tricks, no heartbreak; Kanan _loved_ her.

 

“Are you sure you’re okay with it? I really want to do things right,” Kanan said. If Ruby wasn’t mistaken, Kanan was turning pink, just a little.

 

“Yes,” Ruby said, cupping Kanan’s cheeks. She ran her thumb over the soft, pretty flesh of Kanan’s face, biting her lip. “I’ll go first, then.”

 

Kanan seemed a bit surprised, as if she hadn’t expected Ruby to take the lead. That encouraged Ruby to slide Kanan's hoodie off of her, a determined pout on her face. Kanan obediently shrugged it off and tossed it aside, licking her lips. Kanan looked as if she were simply observing, sitting back curiously. The tank top went next, leaving Kanan in a black, lacy bra. Ruby was unsure how to proceed, so she cupped Kanan’s breasts in her hands, squeezing gently. Kanan scoffed a little, and when Ruby pouted, she reached up and put her hands over Ruby’s. “Like this,” Kanan whispered, moving Ruby’s hands so that they were kneading her breasts. Kanan sighed softly, letting her hands drop to her sides. Ruby did her best to mimic Kanan’s movements with her own hands, and Kanan nodded. When Ruby pulled her hands away, Kanan furrowed her brow in confusion, but Ruby quickly put her fears to rest when she unhooked her bra, exposing her large, soft breast and her pink, perky nipples. “Don’t just stare...”

 

“Sorry.” Ruby began to fondle Kanan’s breasts again, this time daring to roll her thumb over a nipple and pinch it. Kanan hissed, moving a hand to clutch Ruby’s hip. Ruby had never seen Kanan like that, with her eyes shut, her long, pretty lashes fluttering lightly against her rosy cheeks. Her lips were slightly parted, and even though Ruby was tempted to kiss them, she decided to busy her mouth with other things. She leaned down and wrapped her mouth around Kanan’s nipple, which earned her a stifled cry. Ruby accidentally scraped her teeth against the sensitive nub, but Kanan seemed to like it, pushing Ruby closer by the back of her head. Kanan still seemed relatively calm, but Ruby could feel her twitching, silently begging for more. Ruby moved the knee that was in between Kanan’s legs forward, and as soon as it came in contact with Kanan’s crotch, Kanan began to grind against it.

 

Ruby pulled her mouth off of Kanan’s breast, and Kanan instantly pulled her closer, kissing her deeply and still rocking her hips. Kanan pulled away to breathe, but they remained so close that Ruby could feel the softness of Kanan’s lips against hers as she spoke. “Ruby, I need more,” Kanan murmured, smiling softly.

 

“Right, right, um-” Kanan wanted...”more”. What was “more”? For a second, the word “more” didn’t even sound like a word to Ruby, but she snapped out of her stupor and said, “What would you like me to d-do?”

 

“S-sorry, Ruby. Was I too forceful?”

 

At first, Ruby thought Kanan was teasing her, but it became clear that she was quite worried about Ruby, for real. “No, no,” Ruby said quickly, blushing. “It’s just that...um...I wanna make this good for you...it feels like I’m kind of useless. Last night you did all of the work.”

 

“Don’t worry, Ruby. There’s nothing to be stressed about. If I’m with you, I know it’ll feel great. I’ll lead you, okay?” Kanan raised a hand, and Ruby looked at it for a second with confusion, before she caught on and clasped her hand with Kanan’s. “Get off, okay? And on your knees.”

 

Ruby nodded. That was a simple direction, one that even she could handle. When she got there, she decided to take the initiative, hooking all of her fingers except her thumb into the waistband of Kanan’s pants. Without even undoing the button and zipper, Ruby slid Kanan’s pants off of her long legs, highly tempted to plant kisses on every inch of her skin. Once Ruby got them off, she looked up at Kanan with a questioning face. “A-and now...?”

 

“Here,” Kanan murmured, beginning to take her underwear off. Ruby helped her get them the rest of the way down, then put them in a pile with the rest of Kanan’s clothes. She was fully naked then, and Ruby felt severely overdressed, but it wasn’t like she particularly minded. She was too busy admiring every inch of Kanan’s body, from her head to her toes. Nervously, her hands rested atop Kanan’s knees. Getting the hint, Kanan spread her legs, baring her wet pussy to Ruby. It seemed like something forbidden, something scandalous, but Ruby wanted nothing more than to touch it, taste it. Her hand shaking, Ruby decided to press one finger to the pink, glistening bud between Kanan’s legs, and Kanan yelped, putting her hand over Ruby’s. “Hey, hey, don’t just poke it like that! Y-you’ve never done this yourself?”

 

“No,” Ruby admitted, sheepish. “Onee-chan told me that doing that to myself would make me go blind.”

 

Kanan chuckled breathlessly. “Right, right...okay. I can just teach you. Like I said, it’s no problem. Let’s ignore that part for now, okay? Are you fine with using your mouth?”

 

Ruby nodded eagerly. Already, she felt the urge to lap up all of the juices leaking from Kanan’s quivering hole. “I think I know how to do it. Can I just try it?”

 

Kanan smiled and nodded, relaxing into the couch cushions and closing her eyes. Almost experimentally, Ruby leaned in and licked up some of Kanan’s tasty, sticky nectar, straight from the source. Ruby hadn’t expected Kanan to react so strongly, jerking her hips and hissing. Ruby almost felt embarrassed; she didn’t think Kanan would be so sensitive. Ruby repeated the same motion over and over again, stopping every couple of seconds to swallow and lick her lips. It really was as easy as Ruby thought it was; Kanan was panting and rocking her hips, her eyes shut. “Good, good,” Kanan murmured, patting Ruby’s head affectionately. Ruby blinked hard, feeling a familiar warmth forming between her own legs.

 

As Ruby’s strokes got quicker and more pressured, Kanan’s breaths got more labored and desperate. Ruby could tell that Kanan was trying not to buck her hips or hold Ruby’s head down, her eyes closed and her brow furrowed in concentration. A loud, ragged cry made Ruby pop her head up; on accident, her tongue had slightly dipped into Kanan’s entrance. “I-I’m sorry, did that hurt?”

 

“No, Ruby, it felt really good,” Kanan gasped, still twitching. “Put it all the way inside.”

 

Tentatively, Ruby moved her tongue back to Kanan’s hole again. It was a bit hard to get her tongue in, because Kanan was moving so much and her tongue was slippery. However, she eventually worked her tongue into Kanan’s passage, able to feel the ridges of her walls. Ruby cried out a muffled cry when Kanan put her hand on the back of her head and pushed her inwards, throwing her legs over her shoulders. Kanan’s thighs were squeezing the sides of Ruby’s head, and Ruby had to admit that she really wouldn’t have cared if Kanan just crushed her head in.

 

Ruby quickly felt herself falling into some kind of headspace, unable to think of anything but pleasing Kanan and drawing forth more of her moans. Kanan seemed to be quite out of it herself, mumbling Ruby’s name and biting back yelps. Ruby wondered if Kanan felt this way when she was pleasuring her. Nothing else existed except for Kanan’s scent, her taste, the sound of her moaning Ruby’s name. It was as if they were truly connected. Ruby could feel every little shiver, every small jerk of Kanan’s hips. Even then, though, Ruby was not satisfied. Moving on autopilot, she pulled her tongue out of Kanan and began to lather Kanan’s clitoris with her tongue, looking up lovingly to gauge Kanan’s reactions. Kanan nodded breathlessly, then said, “Use your fingers, too.”

 

“Which ones?”

 

Ruby felt like it was a dumb question right after she asked it, but Kanan simply replied, “The middle and ring ones, and-and don’t be gentle, alright? Go fast. P-please...”

 

The trembling quality of Kanan’s voice renewed some vigor in Ruby. She quickly did as she was told, replacing her tongue with two fingers. Her fingers moved clumsily, but she tried to make up with it by sucking on Kanan’s clit, being careful not to be too rough with it for fear of causing Kanan pain. She pulled away and said, “Moving my fingers like this...this is good, right?”

 

“It’s amazing, Ruby. You’re doing so well. But c-curve your fingers a little bit,” Kanan said. Ruby thought it was an odd request, but Ruby tried to comply, moving her fingers at different angles to accomplish what Kanan wanted her to. She was unsure what she was reaching for. “No, Ruby, more like-ah, fuck! That’s it, you’ve got it, just like that! Oh my god, please-”

 

Kanan cut herself off with a feral cry, her nails digging into Ruby’s scalp. Ruby leaned in and started sucking on Kanan’s clit again, still stimulating the roof of Kanan’s walls, the spot that seemed to drive her crazy. Ruby could feel the waves and pulses of pleasure coming from Kanan and vibrating her skin. They were feeding off of each other’s energy. Ruby was rubbing her thighs together, trying to get some blissful friction between her legs. Kanan’s clit was hot, wet and stiff in her mouth, begging for more attention. Deciding not to use any particular technique, Ruby lashed her tongue over it repeatedly, still trying to suck on it as she did so. She must have been successful; Kanan started to whimper in a high-pitched tone that Ruby had never heard from her before. The steady rocking of Kanan’s hips was gone; instead, she was just desperately grinding against Ruby’s face, trying to reach her peak.

 

“I’m going to come, okay, Ruby? I’m so close, so close,” Kanan whispered in a heated, hushed voice. Ruby looked up and saw that Kanan’s face was contorted in a gorgeous position, one that almost looked like it was an expression of pain; however, Ruby knew that it was exactly the opposite.

 

Kanan’s comment surprised Ruby. For some reason, bringing Kanan to such a state of pleasure seemed slightly implausible to her, but the idea of it excited her to no end. She continued her ministrations with twice as much effort, looking up at Kanan innocently. Kanan pried her eyes open and looked down, and the second their eyes met, Kanan gasped and tensed, her eyes glazing over and growing wide. Ruby pulled her mouth away to watch Kanan more closely, but as she did, she felt a spurt of warm liquid hitting her bottom lip. Instinctively, she stuck her tongue out and opened her mouth wide, even though most of Kanan’s quim landed on the rest of her face rather than in her mouth. Kanan didn’t let her head go, but she was grabbing Ruby just to have a grip on something rather than to pull her closer.

 

Kanan was slightly hunched over, her eyes shutting tight after her orgasm hit. Violent aftershocks claimed her body, and Ruby slowed down the pistoning of her fingers, withdrawing them completely as Kanan fell back to the couch and caught her breath. Ruby slowly climbed onto the couch, then straddled Kanan once more. She pressed her lips to Kanan’s, and Kanan’s mouth opened; they began a slow, lazy, open-mouthed kiss. Ruby could feel a mix of her and Kanan’s saliva running down her chin. The pulsing between her legs was coming almost unbearable. The only thing she could think about was Kanan, and the night before when Kanan’s hands and tongue were all over her. Never before had Ruby felt such need.

 

That need must have been quite apparent to Kanan; she quickly pulled away from the kiss and simply said, “Bedroom.”

 

Ruby climbed off of Kanan, and Kanan stood on shaky legs. Ruby felt a surge of pride, knowing that _she_ had driven Kanan to such great heights of pleasure. They kissed all the way to the bedroom, with Ruby never taking her hands off of Kanan’s flushed, sweaty skin. Once they got back to the bedroom, Ruby immediately felt the spicy peppermint scent surround her as Kanan pushed her to the bed, but it was replaced with the ocean-like scent of Kanan’s hair when Kanan flung her scarf to the side and began to suck on her neck. Ruby murmured, “You can bite...if you want!”

 

The warm breath of Kanan’s laugh tickled Ruby’s neck. “Did you wear that scarf to cover up the marks I made on you...? Don’t be ashamed. It feels good, doesn’t it?” Kanan dug her teeth into Ruby’s skin, and Ruby cried out, jerking her hips upwards. Kanan sat up, and Ruby nearly reached up to her just out of instinct. “Get undressed. I’m going to go get something.” Kanan kissed Ruby’s cheek curtly then climbed out of bed, walking towards her closet. Ruby wasted no time following orders, fumbling out of her clothes and tossing them aside. Seconds later, Kanan came out with a nondescript box in her hand, setting it on the bed. In her other hand, she had a small bottle. “I haven't used this toy before, but I was wondering if you'd like to have me use it on you.”

 

Before Ruby could ask, Kanan was opening the box. Inside, Ruby could see a harness with a purple, silicone dildo attached. Ruby flushed immediately as Kanan removed the toy from the box and unceremoniously swept it off of the bed. “C-can something like that fit inside?”

 

“Yeah. I've got some lube,” Kanan said, holding up the bottle. “If you're really uncomfortable with it, we can do something else.”

 

Ruby felt like she couldn't refuse Kanan, after seeing her sincere smile and excited violet pupils. Ruby nodded and meekly said, “Okay.”

 

Kanan kissed Ruby’s cheek excitedly, wrapping an arm around her waist. “That's good, that's great. I'm going to make this really good for you, Ruby-chan. Lay back, so we can get started.”

 

It was obvious that Kanan was quite eager to begin, so Ruby relaxed into the pillows, shifting this way and that as Kanan kissed down her body. Kanan’s tongue briefly dipped into her navel, but her focus quickly shifted to the moisture forming between Ruby’s legs. Without hesitation, Kanan started to skillfully caress Ruby’s pink folds with her tongue. Her mouth moved with such precision; Ruby knew that Kanan was making Ruby feel ten times better than what she could ever make Kanan feel...and it didn’t even seem like she was trying. Kanan was as relaxed and leisurely as ever, with every flick of her tongue coming naturally. Ruby looked down at her, mesmerized. Kanan looked upward and smiled, her mouth wrapping around Ruby’s clit. Ruby nearly came on the spot.

 

Kanan pulled back, then grabbed the harness again and fastened herself into it. Seeing Kanan with such a thing on her made Ruby feel some inexplicable warmth; Kanan looked...Ruby knew that the word “majestic” didn’t quite suit what she was seeing, but it was all that she could think about. Kanan popped open the top on the bottle of lubricant, drizzling it on the strap and her fingers. Those same fingers circled Ruby’s entrance, and Ruby closed her eyes, preparing for a burn or some kind of pain. She had never had anything inside of her other than Kanan’s tongue the night before, and she was worried. However, the first finger was relatively painless, and the one that came afterwards only produced a slight, negligible sting. The pain was the farthest thing from Ruby’s mind. All she could think about was how _warm_ and _tingly_ Kanan’s fingers felt inside of her, scissoring lightly and rubbing against her walls. “K-Kanan, I think I’m ready,” Ruby whispered, cupping Kanan’s cheek.

 

“Okay,” Kanan said, her voice uneasy. “If you feel any pain while we’re going, I can always stop, as long as you just ask.”

 

The kind, caring consideration seeping into Kanan’s voice made Ruby even more hasty to begin. “I want to do this. Please.”

 

Kanan seemed to accept Ruby’s desperation, leaning over her. The position was startlingly intimate, and Ruby wondered if Kanan had ever been this close to some random girl she found in a bar. For some reason, Ruby found it comforting to think of Kanan being impersonal with all of her other encounters, but passionate and loving with only Ruby. Kanan gave Ruby a heartwarming smile as she gently pushed Ruby’s legs apart and lined the toy up with her hole. “Ruby,” Kanan whispered, putting a bit of pressure into her hips, “I love you.”

 

Ruby prepared to reply, but the only thing she could let out was a loud yelp of pain as Kanan entered her. Her pace was slow, but Ruby felt like the gentle pacing only made things worse. She could feel every inch of the toy tearing her apart. Her only savior was the feeling of Kanan’s feather-light, soft kisses, on her cheeks, forehead, and neck. Ruby choked out, “K-Kanan, it hurts, it hurts-”

 

“I know, Ruby. I’m sorry. Do you want to stop?”

 

The warmth of Kanan’s hips lingered against Ruby’s, and she could tell that Kanan was all the way inside of her. She looked up, and saw that Kanan had taken her hair out of her ponytail when Ruby wasn’t looking. Ruby smiled breathlessly up at Kanan, feeling the pain start to fade. Kanan shifted a little bit, then took the hair ties out of Ruby’s hair, running her fingers through the sweaty strands. “Go fast, okay? I can get used to it more quickly like that, right? Right?”

 

No reply came, but the subtle withdrawal of Kanan’s hips said it all. Kanan was moving a bit faster than before, and even though there was still a bit of friction, Ruby felt far less suffering than she did when Kanan first penetrated her. Ruby’s pained groans turned to small whimpers. The tight fit became a pleasurable thing rather than one of pain. Kanan was moving faster than before, but her hips still rocked to a slow and steady rhythm. “You're so beautiful, Ruby,” Kanan said. Ruby got a soft kiss to the forehead after that comment.

 

“Faster...it hurts a lot less.” Ruby tacked on the last part of her sentence when she saw the skepticism in Kanan’s eyes. Kanan leaned over Ruby, kissing her neck over and over as she started thrusting her hips faster. Her hands were on either side of Ruby’s head, being used to steady herself. The patterns of Kanan's hips were somehow experienced, if the amount of pleasure Ruby was experiencing was any indicator. However, Ruby was so sensitive to the touch that she wasn’t sure if Kanan was skilled or if she was just desperate to feel good. Either way, Ruby was writhing in ecstasy at every little movement, clawing at Kanan’s back mindlessly.

 

Kanan didn’t seem to mind, still pressing gentle kisses to Ruby’s skin. It still felt good, but Ruby felt like she had worked up a tolerance to such a slow pace. Kanan must have felt that way, too; she whispered, “I’m going to go even faster now. If it hurts-” Kanan paused, then they both laughed. Ruby appreciated the concern, but she was eager to be pushed to her limit, especially if Kanan was the one pushing her.

 

The lewd noises coming from between their legs only intensified when Kanan sped up, digging her nails into Ruby’s thighs for a grip. At that point, Ruby felt nothing but pleasure. She didn’t even attempt to hold back her loud moans, especially not after Kanan leaned over and whispered in her ear that she wanted to hear more. Ruby was making shameless noises, whimpering and pleading for more. Desperately, she wrapped her legs around Kanan’s waist to pull her closer. She could feel the warmth of Kanan’s body against her as they pressed against each other even more. Kanan was nibbling on her ear, kissing her neck, begging Ruby to yell some more, beg some more. Kanan’s voice was all too delicious, sexy even when it cracked in some places.

 

Ruby yelped in surprise when Kanan wrapped one arm around each of Ruby’s thighs and jerked her upward, leaving her at a very peculiar angle. Most of her lower body was being held in Kanan’s arms, while the rest of her was still laying back on the bed. However, Ruby was too high up to even ask what Kanan was doing. The second Kanan started thrusting again, Ruby moaned unabashedly, unable to handle the pleasure. Every time Kanan was all the way inside of her, she felt some amazing jolt of ecstasy shooting up her spine, making her go dizzy. “Ahaha...you’re almost drooling, Ruby-chan,” Kanan said, pulling away from Ruby’s neck. That way, Ruby could see her face; unlike the rest of the room, Kanan’s face wasn’t blurred. In fact, it seemed sharply detailed to Ruby, and she wanted to kiss every inch. “This is a woman’s most sensitive spot, you know...do you like this?”

 

 _Now she’s just teasing me...!_ “Yes,” Ruby managed to say, shutting her eyes. She couldn’t look at Kanan’s face anymore, Kanan was driving her crazy-

 

“Look at me,” Kanan panted. Ruby simply whimpered, trying to quell the tightening of her gut. The same feeling that she had had the night before came back, except ten times stronger. Ruby almost felt like she was on the verge of passing out from pleasure. Kanan’s pace was relentless, with her previous unease seemingly thrown out of the window. “Ruby. _Look_ at me, okay?”

 

Ruby opened her eyes again, and she bit her lip at the sight of Kanan. It was as if Kanan was a wave, crashing into Ruby over and over again and threatening to sweep her out to sea; Ruby had to admit, part of her wanted to let go, wanted Kanan to take her wherever she wanted to take her. “Kanan, I-I want to let go,” Ruby murmured, daze. All she could do at that point was murmur sex-crazed nonsense, she was so close.

 

However, whether Kanan understood what she was trying to say or not didn’t matter. Kanan smiled at her and said, “Then let go.” With that, Ruby shut her eyes tight and dug her nails into the sheets, quaking as her orgasm hit her hard. She screamed until her throat was hoarse, yelling Kanan’s name in between pleas. She was begging, wanting it harder, faster, _anything_ to intensify the euphoria she was feeling. Kanan didn’t stop for a second, but Ruby could feel her leaning over and whispering into her ear some more. Ruby couldn’t make out her words; only the sound of her voice registered, and that was enough.

 

After what felt like hours, Kanan’s thrusts slowed. Ruby had half a mind to ask for more, but she was too out of it to even speak, her bones heavy as she panted harshly. She flinched when Kanan pulled out of her, but otherwise didn’t react. She heard a bit of moving and rustling, but seconds later, Kanan was next to her again, nuzzling her and affectionately brushing her hair out of her face. Just the warmth of Kanan’s body next to her was enough to lull her; for some reason, the exhaustion that came after that climax was much more imminent than the one the night before. Sleepily, Ruby murmured, “Thank you.”

 

“Shh, shh,” Kanan soothed, rolling them so that Ruby was on her side. Ruby felt the blankets being gently maneuvered from beneath her and pulled over them. “Let’s go to bed, okay?”

 

“Mm...” Ruby was already halfway there, her heavy lids refusing to lift so that she could look at Kanan’s face one last time before she drifted off to bed. She heard the lamp next to her being turned off, and then felt Kanan settle next to her. Instinctively, Ruby snuggled closer to her and lazily draped her arm around Kanan’s waist. “Mmph...Kanan-senpai?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I-I love you,” Ruby whispered, her heart thudding in her chest. What if everything that was said earlier was just an excuse to get Ruby’s clothes off again? For some reason, Ruby couldn’t shake that fear, even in her near-unconsciousness.

 

However, her fears were found to be irrational. Kanan chuckled, then replied, “I love you too, Ruby. From now on, you’re my only one. Can I be yours?”

 

Ruby could barely manage a nod before she promptly fell asleep.

* * *

Once again, Ruby was deprived of her fantasy morning-after, and rolled over only to hear a piece of paper crinkling beneath her skin. Perhaps, if that had happened the day before, she would have felt some kind of panic, wondering if Kanan had just been too cowardly to tell her off in person; however, Ruby simply picked up the note and read it, smiling as she finished.

 

_Off for a quick jog. I made some breakfast before I went. Feel free to help yourself to a shower and some grub! -K_

 

Ruby felt her cheeks warm. Kanan was always so considerate like that. It also made her happy to think about Kanan, stretching and running along the sidewalk as the sun rose. Ruby found it almost embarrassing, how much the simple things could please her. She got out of bed, but hissed when she felt the dull ache between her legs. The pain wasn’t debilitating, but it was far from negligible. Either way, Ruby stumbled sleepily over to Kanan’s dresser and shyly opened the drawer. She rifled around a little bit, smiling at the presence of really smooth rocks and seashells. Eventually, she pulled out an oversized t-shirt that advertised her father’s shop. Ruby had a quick shower then put on the t-shirt, purposely foregoing any kind of underwear; if things went her way, she wouldn’t need them. _I don’t know when my thoughts got this lewd..._

 

Ruby went into the kitchen, and saw eggs, toast, and sausage on the stove. It was still pretty warm, so she wondered how long Kanan had been gone. She made a plate, spreading some strawberry jam on her toast, then dug in. Kanan was a surprisingly good cook; Ruby hadn’t expected her to be, really. Ruby stood at the kitchen counter, munching happily and still glowing from her wonderful night last night. Her peaceful moment was interrupted when she heard a knock at the door. She had just finished her food, so she set her plate and fork in the sink then went to the door, swinging it open without a second thought. _Kanan must have forgotten her keys!_ “Welcome back, Kanan...senpai...?”

 

Unfortunately, the person at the door was not Kanan. Instead, it was one stone-faced Dia Kurosawa. “Ruby,” Dia said, quite plainly, as if she hadn’t just socked her little sister’s girlfriend in the face the night before. “I’m assuming Kanan isn’t home right now.”

 

“No. Sh-she went out f-for a jog,” Ruby said, meekly. The high she was feeling was quickly replaced with a cold terror. What was Dia coming for anyway?

 

“Relax, Ruby. I wasn’t coming to start any conflict between you and Kanan. I actually just wanted to...I wanted to say that if her feelings for you were true, then she should pursue them,” Dia said, even though she looked as if she were struggling to say it. “I simply wanted to have a talk with her, and...I apologize to both of you for my behavior last night.”

 

A large weight was lifted off of Ruby’s shoulders. She hadn’t even considered it the night before, but as she thought about it, she realized that she wouldn’t know how happy she would have been with Kanan if Dia didn’t approve of it completely. Hearing Dia give her blessings was unbelievably relieving. Ruby squealed excitedly and pounced on Dia, wrapping her in a hug. “Thank you so much, onee-chan, thank you _so_ _so_ much-!”

 

“R-Ruby...why don’t you have any underwear on under that...?!”

 

Ruby pulled back immediately, noticing that the t-shirt had rode up on her body when she stretched up to hug her sister. “Ah, s-sorry,” Ruby mumbled, yanking it down. She nearly fainted from embarrassment, but it didn’t stop her from feeling excited. Trying to change the topic, she added, “We should all go out, then! Me, you, and Kanan-senpai, and Mari-senpai!”

 

“That sounds great!” Surprisingly, the voice wasn’t Dia; instead, it was Kanan, with a light sheen of sweat from her morning jog. She seemed slightly confused by Dia’s presence, but happy to see that there was no tension. Almost tentatively, she put her hand on Dia’s shoulder. “How about we go for dinner tonight? Just like yesterday, minus the busted lips.”

 

Even more surprisingly, Dia chuckled a little bit. “That sounds fine. Mari and I should be available at about the same time, if that’s alright.”

 

“Yeah! Ruby-chan and I’ll be there,” Kanan said. She moved past Dia and wrapped her arm around Ruby’s shoulder. Dia stared intensely at Kanan and Ruby, and Ruby felt a hint of panic rise in her veins. Kanan seemed to be a bit wary as well. “So, ah, Dia, I guess I’m going to go and-”

 

“I’d like to have a word with you, Kanan. Can you step back out here for a second?” Dia said, giving Kanan the stern, lecturing voice that she gave to students who ran in the hallway in high school.

 

“Uh, sure.” Kanan didn’t seem too worried; she took her arm from around Ruby’s shoulder and stepped outside of the door, closing it behind her with one last glance at Ruby. Ruby tiptoed back to Kanan’s room, curious about what they were conversing about. Trying not to worry about it, she slipped on a pair of Kanan’s boxer shorts and went back into the living room just in time to see Kanan coming back in. Dia was walking out of the building and towards her car. Kanan seemed normal, so Ruby just looked at her curiously. “Everything went fine, Ruby,” she said, as if she had expected Ruby to ask. “She just gave me a little lecture and told me not to break your heart. Typical big-sister Dia stuff.”

 

Ruby chuckled softly. Yeah, that was Dia, alright. It pleased her to know that there was no more friction between Kanan and Dia. “And you promised her, right?”

 

“Of course I did. I love you. I promise, I’m going to treat you like a princess,” Kanan said, causing Ruby to blush and look away. “But...good thing I didn’t promise her I wouldn’t do anything indecent. That’s something I don’t think I can handle. Heh. She’d still be angry if I did lewd things with you too much, though.”

 

Ruby gasped a little as Kanan advanced on her, pressing a kiss to her temple. “She doesn’t have to know,” Ruby says. Kanan felt good pressed against her so closely, even if she faintly smelled of sweat and the ocean air. “So, let’s do a lot of lewd things, okay?”

 

Kanan laughed at Ruby’s sudden boldness. She swiftly picked Ruby up, and Ruby wrapped her legs around Kanan, giggling. Ruby couldn’t help but peek at Kanan’s muscles flexing a little, and she was infinitely glad that Kanan had decided to wear a tank top. “Well...” Kanan murmured, walking Ruby over to the dining room. Ruby was surprised to be set down on the table, with Kanan leaning over her and grinning wildly. “Let’s start here, then.”

 

Every kiss that Kanan pressed on Ruby’s quickly heating skin was like another confession of love. It felt like she had some sacred jewel, right in her hands, and that jewel was Kanan. Just two nights before, and long before that, Kanan had seemed unattainable and distant, but all of a sudden, Ruby was hearing her express her affections over and over...and for some reason, she felt like she would never get tired of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay! happy gays.


End file.
